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Unsanitary conditions.

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I hafta admit I like the shiny new stuff, but there are some serious oversights... fer example, I swear the wet spot under this bench must be twenty years old.

Barstaff must be inta their own supply again!


Ah yes; the tavern could use a good once-over; a few nights of revelry for those whom have found fame and fortune in the 'cano can leave the place looking messier than an ogre's latrine.

With things starting to get back into full swing, this place could use a bit of a scrub-down; ladies and gentlemen of the Yserbius Tavern, let's get to work!

- Regi


OK, you caught me!! I have a small drooling problem when I drink. Keep passing out under that bench. I swear the wench is putting something in my meade, or was it ale? Who cares *Shouts* 'Gimme another one'

I'll get my gear and start over there *Points to drool puddle under the bench and starts singing 'Ehm Eye Sea Kay Eye Why Ehm Oh You Ess Eee'*

*Finishes drink, passes out and starts drooling under the bench*


Splendid! And when you get yer cleaning crew together, make sure they give the cellar a good once-over.

Maybe a twice-over. There are cobwebs thick as ropes down there. I woulda started cleaning up, but I kept seeing these eight-point reflections down there. Gave me the shivers.

... or is that my lack of drink? Dragoneye you sot, wake up and spill! Not your grog, man, but where you found the stuff! I swear the wine must be old enough to drink itself now.


*Belows at the top of his lungs*

Bwahahahaha!! Erasmus you old goat...Have you been drinking Festus' Absinthe again?

Remember last time you and I got into that hooch? I stood on the bar and started spouting some nonsense about being a little tea pot, handle and spout *Laughs* and you were going from *Laughs* table to table, taking *Laughing harder* all the cookies *Hysterical Laughter* while singing 'Ohhh, cookie cookie cookie starts with C'

*Slaps Erasmus on the back* Come my friend. I think I know where Festus keeps a bottle of Anestoril Ambrosia.....Bring your knife...we need to go to the cellar!!!

Edited Sep 4, 2020


...Would it help our tabs if we pitch in? Or is that just wishful thinking on my part? Either way, if you've got the herbs we could try fumigating it out - cellars always have such poor airflow that if you burn a little fleabane with a handful of lemongrass at the top it'll find your pests in a day or two.

*Markus mulls things over for a moment, watered down wine in hand.*

That, or you need something stronger than herbal remedies and a butter knife. But in that story, chapter one is settling on a price.


*Grabs Markus by the shoulder and pulls him away from the uplifted ears behind the bar* SSHHHHHHH!!! Use your inside voice friend. Offering to help this pub is a trap!!! Let me tell you a story. Back in the flint shortage of '93, I was a fledgeleing Wizard eager to show my promise, but the 'Cano was unforginving and I quickly racked up a tab. *Points to Festus, the bartender* He was all too eager to lend me a few coppers, saying "I'll just put it on your tab". After all, who doesn't ned a little help and a few drinks after scuffling with ghosts and skeletons. So, I offered my services to light the torches, candles and the fireplace. Festus agreed, but only if I helped his family. Having only ever seeing his mother, who would have guessed he is 1 of 14 children. I spent that winter with all of these sticky fingered rugrats pulling on my beard, thowing food at me....OH! OH! OH!!! and one of them jumped in front of me as I was casting!!!!! Is it my fault her eyebrows were singed off? *Fineshes Ale in one quick gulp* I would rather face Arnakkian before going through that torture again. So heed my advice lest you spend your summer picking herbs, mushrooms and fruit thingies.

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